Cascade Crew

chevymad

Just ran into these on another forum. Figure they're good for a chuckle.

My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels. She asked, 'What's on TV?'

I said, 'Dust.'

And then the fight started...

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---

I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.

"I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please."

He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?""

Nah, she can order for herself."

And then the fight started...

------------ --------- --------- ---

I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95.

Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95.

I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream.

And then the fight started....

------------ --------- --------- --------- -----

My wife asked me if a certain dress made her butt look big. I told her not

as much as the dress she wore yesterday

and then the fight started.....

------------ --------- --------- --------- ------

I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary? "

It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation. "Somewhere I haven't been

in a long time!" she said. So I suggested, "How about the kitchen?"

And that's when the fight started....

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ----

My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed. I turned to

her and said, "Do you want to have sex?" "No," she answered. I then said, "Is that your

final answer?" She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying "Yes." So I said, "Then

I'd like to phone a friend."

And that's when the fight started....

cameron7710 · Posted: Mon Dec 29, 2008 7:39 pm Post subject:

alloy · Posted: Mon Dec 29, 2008 7:50 pm Post subject:

I certainly hope none of us will try to use any of these lines. Could be extremely harmful to your health Cool

Twilightoptics · Posted: Mon Dec 29, 2008 8:07 pm Post subject:

I think I'll save em for Valentine's Day!

cameron7710 · Posted: Mon Dec 29, 2008 8:11 pm Post subject:

GREG DAVIDSON · Posted: Mon Dec 29, 2008 8:32 pm Post subject:

thats just to funny !!!

Schultzy89GTA · Posted: Mon Dec 29, 2008 9:09 pm Post subject:

Jenn · Posted: Mon Dec 29, 2008 10:53 pm Post subject:

Yup! If your lookin for a fight, Thumbs up

That's definately the way to do it.

Very funny stuff Laughing

83Z28BlackBetty · Posted: Mon Dec 29, 2008 11:01 pm Post subject:

funny

91RSVert · Posted: Tue Dec 30, 2008 5:38 am Post subject:

Ive actually used this line.......

"quit acting like your f***ing mother".

That didnt go over to well Laughing

blue89 · Posted: Tue Dec 30, 2008 8:20 am Post subject:

Nice one Jay, you're real classy! Laughing

lmao Those are all great.

91RSVert · Posted: Tue Dec 30, 2008 8:55 am Post subject:

well she hated her mom, and she was acting just like her. So I pointed it out.

Hum.. maybe there is a reason I dont have a gf. Confused

Richster · Posted: Tue Dec 30, 2008 1:41 pm Post subject:

I found the "ACT YOUR AGE..NOT YOUR SHOE SIZE"can really start some issues...and fairly quick!!! Twisted Evil

Al Hasse · Posted: Tue Dec 30, 2008 3:49 pm Post subject:

Those are good Laughing

I found a couple more....

When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive….
So, I took her to a gas station…..
And then the fight started….

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security.
The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver’s license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home.
I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.
The woman said, "Unbutton your shirt."
So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.
She said, "That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me" and she processed my Social Security application.
When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office.
She said, "You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too."
And then the fight started…..

My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.
My wife asked, "Do you know her?"
"Yes," I sighed, "She’s my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn’t been sober since."
"My God!" says my wife, "Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?"
And then the fight started…..

I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car.
You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny?
Yeah, well I couldn’t believe it…. he was a DWARF!!!
He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, "I AM NOT HAPPY!!!"
So, I looked down at him and said, "Well, then which one are you?"
And then the fight started…..

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said, "I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds.."
I bought her a scale.
And then the fight started....

blue89 · Posted: Tue Dec 30, 2008 5:08 pm Post subject:

Those are awesome Al! I'm going to have to google these.

alloy · Posted: Tue Dec 30, 2008 5:53 pm Post subject:

Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage . I hooked up the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day. I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, 'The weather out there is terrible.' My loving wife of 10 years replied, 'Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?'

And that's how the fight started ................

A man and a woman were asleep like two innocent babies. Suddenly, at 3 o'clock in the morning, a loud noise came from outside. The woman, bewildered, jumped up from the bed and yelled at the man 'Holy crap. That must be my husband!' So the man jumped out of the bed; scared and naked jumped out the window and landed in the rose bushes, then ran through a barbed wire fence and to his car as fast as he could go.
A few minutes later he returned and went up to the bedroom and screamed at the woman, 'I AM your husband!'The woman yelled back, 'Yeah, then why were you running?'

And then the fight started.........................

A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband,
'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly.I really need you to pay me a compliment.' The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'

And then the fight started.........................

And what I think is the very best one........

I was laughing out loud and my wife asked me what was up. So, I showed her these jokes.

That's when the fight started..................... Embarassed

mrpopo573 · Posted: Wed Dec 31, 2008 11:03 am Post subject: