Cascade Crew

[alloy]

A herd of buffalo can move only as fast as the slowest buffalo, and when
the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that
are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole,
because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by
the regular culling of the weakest members.

In much the same way the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, we all know, kills off brain cells, but naturally it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, constantly making the brain a faster and more efficient machine.

[Twilightoptics]

Dan, where in THE hell did you come up with that? LOL

[alloy]

Same place as I got this

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A mechanic was removing a cylinder head from the motor of a classic Chevy Truck when he spotted a well-known heart surgeon in his shop. The surgeon was there waiting for the service manager to come take a look at his Corvette when the mechanic shouted across the garage, "Hey Doc, can I ask you a question?"

The surgeon, a bit surprised, walked over to where the mechanic was working on the head. The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked, "So Doc, look at this engine. I open its heart, take valves out, fix 'em, put 'em back in, and when I finish, it works just like new. So how come I get such a small salary and you get the really big bucks when you and I are doing basically the same work?"

The surgeon paused, smiled and leaned over, and whispered to the
mechanic..."Try doing it with the engine running."

[PonchoTA]

After nearly forty years in practice as a gynecologist,
John decided he had enough money to retire and take up
his real love, auto mechanics. He left his practice,
enrolled in auto mechanics school, and studied hard.
The day of the final exam came and John worried if he
would be able to complete the test with the same
proficiency as his younger classmates. Most of the
students completed their exam in two hours. John, on
the other hand, took the entire four hours allotted.
John tossed and turned in bed that night, dreading the
next morning when the exam scores would be returned.

The following day, John was delighted and surprised to
see a score of 150% for his exam.

John spoke to his professor after class. "I never
dreamed I could do this well on the exam. But tell me,
how did I earn a score of 150%?"

The professor replied, "I gave you 50% for perfectly disassembling the engine.
I awarded another 50% for perfectly reassembling the engine.
I gave you an additional 50% for having done all of it through the
exhaust pipe."

[Dewey316]

Those are all pretty funny. And you guys tell me I have too much time on the internet.

[Schultzy89GTA]

lmao - good ones guys.

-Schultzy