Cascade Crew

[alloy]

For the Fbody guys

this is the official Jeff Foxworthy list of you know you drive a Fbody when

You know you own a f-body when...

...You lock the doors with the t-tops off.

...You CAN tell the difference between a '67 and a '68.

...You had an easier time breaking up with your girlfriend, than selling your camaro.

...You swear chevy 350 is the greatest piece of technology ever invented.

...You refer to mustangs as "rustangs".

...You rip the fuel injected "junk" out of your post-1984 f-body, and opt for the "superior" carburator.

..."Smokey and the Bandit" is your favorite movie.

...1967 was the best year of your life, and you weren't even alive.

...you hear the word "rally", you think of rims.

...Your dream car's engine is going to cost more than the car.

...You think arrowheads and bowties go together like PB and jelly.

...You consider the year 1970 1/2 a turning point in your life.

...You deny the fact the Pontiac made TURBO firebirds, but you secertly want one.

...To you, IROC is a car, not a race.

...Cobra isn't just a mustang, but an ancronym for Cars Owned By Retarded ***********************************s.

...You know that horsepower sells cars, but torque wins races. And you use that to explain why f-bodies are no longer made, but Mustangs are.

...Dodges' smell funny.

...You swear that your f-body can easily outrun a corvette, that is, once you take out your 305 and drop in a 350.

...You have to fix your "door sag" at least once a month.

...Brandon is on speed dial.

...You get mad when someone calls your shaker a hood scoop.

...Your alphabet isn't A-Z, but T/A-Z28 (with IROC, SS, and RS somewhere in the middle).

...Your idea of art is a three foot tall, black and gold bird on your hood.

...To you, 'buy low, sell high' means buying a firebird or camaro before 2002, then selling it after 2002.

...You know that hump in between your backseats in your 2nd and 3rd gen.'s all too well.

...FWD makes NO sense to you.

...You know all about the cupholder trick in your 2nd gen (thats a tough one).

...Your life fell into a spril of depression, drugs, and drunkeness after the Camaro and Firebird ceased to exist in 2002.

...You think corvette owners are jealous of your "real" car.

...Your five basic food groups are Mustangs, Civics, Challengers, Eclipses, and Novas.

...You are always explaining to Dodge fans that "ram air" is not what his pickup breathes.

...You really believe that Chevrolet will bring back the Camaro in 2007.

...You do not own a third generation 4-cylinder from the 80's. No really, if you do, you do NOT belong here.

...You wonder how Pontiac can build Aztek's, but not Firebirds (Those GM exec's must NOT have a conscience).

...You are going to buy a Pontiac Solstice and put Firebird decals on it.

...You still call your 2002 Camaro, a "new" car.

When you drive another car you miss the hatch rattle.

When you volunteer to go to the store to get a loaf of bread and come home 3 hours, 200 miles, 400 hair-raising turns, one set of rear tires, 3 near - speeding tickets, and a wild-eyed, ear-to-ear grin later.

When you love pop-up headlights but hate replacing their motors.

When a 30 mph curve sign reminds you to back it down to "bout 75".

When you have low-back pain at the age of 27.

When you wish they would re-make Smoky and the Bandit with a "new" ram-air.

When you watch any car movie and think to yourself "This movie would be awesome if they'd get rid of that P.O.S. and drive my car instead!"

When you can replace a window motor in under 8 minutes.

You can't stand to sit in a car with passenger space because you miss that ****************pit feeling.

You hear the words "nice car" every time you fill up.

When you use 6 extensions and 4 swivels just for the #8 plug.

...When changing spark plugs on any other car seem easy.

When you turn the radio down and roll down the window to hear your exhaust when going under an over pass.....

[Dewey316]

Guilty as charged.

On you last one there, you need to remeber to blip the throttle while going under the overpass!

[Quasi-Traction]

my personal favorite is to drill it in tunnels. All kind of sweet resonance there.

here's one

....you can recite every ECM Trouble code, but can't remember your girlfriends phone number.

[Xophertony]

... you agree with others on the inherent design flaws of your car, and then appologize to the car later when no one is around.

... you think your car came factory equiped with a sawed off broom handle

... to you the term "well" means a space filled with water, for a completly different reason.

... people who do not have to drop their fuel tank and rear end to change a fuel pump are ********

[Quasi-Traction]

...You believe your car's hood/hatch struts are there for looks, and not to hold either one open successfully.

.....when someone says 302, you think, solid lifter, high revving Z/28 motor.

.....you believe the backseat of your car was an afterthought and only put in to keep insurance rates from being equal with a Corvette.

....you think you can make your TBI 305 as strong as your buddies TPI 350

....you would have rather seen a Cuda be destroyed in Vanishing point than the 1st gen they demolished

....your buddy has a 454 in his 77' T/A and you have a 455 in your 77' Z/28

....you have replaced your rear end 6 times but refuse to put a 9" in.


....The Guy next door is tired of you doing work on your car at 2am so you can drive it to work the next day.

.....It still costs less to build than you shelled out for your wife's mini-van.

[Dewey316]

[Quasi-Traction]

What a wonderful imagination Johnny has! Its ok, someday your little 305 will be able to beat those big bad 350's.

I kid, I kid.

(note: You still haven't beat the white one yet... but he's a 355)

Actually...I've been rather impressed with what kind of power you've been able to maximize out of a LO3.

[Xophertony]

besides, i just got my "big bad 350" how long have you been building the 305? give me some time.

... you think a non-sagging headliner is some kind of rare luxury option.

... you roll down the window under overpasses and in tunnels to better hear " that noise shes been makin "

... you drive other cars and asume the cruise control is broken without ever trying it.

... your jaw dropped when your friends camaros hatch power pulldown unit actualy functioned.

... you actualy own a torx T-47 bit.

[alloy]

[Xophertony]

Tuned Port Injection right?

and no, your cruise control is not suposed to work.

[rjmcgee]

You can pronounce the word "Spohn".

[alloy]

[Xophertony]

thats ok. my hatch struts work. realy well too. they are not suposed too.

[rice B-4]

[Al Hasse]

[rjmcgee]

[alloy]

[FahveOh]

I think that last one applies to more than just f-body owners.

[iansane]

[Twilightoptics]